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Custodial parents: relocating with children |
| James Walsh |
After divorce, one of the parents could move away due to a variety of reasons such as to cope with the financial constraints by opting for a cheaper place or for a better job. When the parents divorce and the children are trying to cope with the situation, moving away of one of the parents, poses greater stress on them. However, the parents can take a few steps to ease the burden on their children.
Relocation procedure
After a divorce, either the custodial or the non-custodial parent can move away. If the non-custodial parent moves away, it is his own responsibility to regularly visit his children. However, when the custodial parent decides to move, they are required to get permission from the court. The court accepts or rejects the relocation in the best interest of the children.
Following is the procedure that needs to be followed when a custodial parent decides to relocate:
1. The custodial parent needs to talk to the non-custodial parent and explain the reasons for relocation. However, the process might get complicated when the other parent does not approve of the relocation and challenges the decision in the court. Hence, they need to agree upon a feasible arrangement that would allow the non-custodial parent to be in touch with the children.
2. Then they need to sit with the children and explain to them about it.
3. The custodial parent needs to seek permission from the court for relocation. The court would review the visitation arrangements and decide based on what is good for the child.
In the UK, the permission is required only when relocating with the children to a different country or taking them on a vacation abroad. In the US, the permission is required even when relocating to a different state within the same country.
Effects of Relocation
If the purpose of relocation is not properly explained to the children, or if the other parent is not in contact with them after relocation, it might have negative impacts on the children. Based on various studies conducted in this regard, following are the common trends noticed in these children:
Already shocked by their parent's divorce, with relocation, the children are more stressed and develop a sense of insecurity.
When the non-custodial parent makes lesser or no visitations, they develop a feeling of not being loved. This makes them depressed and dissatisfied in life.
With time they might lose contact with the other parent and feel like a total stranger with them.
Due to the loss of contact, the other parent might not be involved with the children's education and upbringing. So these children might not get any financial assistance from the non-custodial parent.
Some children find it difficult to cope with the pain of separation from the non-custodial parent affecting them physically as well as psychologically.
Effective Co-parenting
While moving away can be inevitable, it is always possible to make the transition without affecting the children. This can be achieved only with the contribution and interest of both the parents. Here are a few useful tips for effective co-parenting:
1. It might be financially hard on the non-custodial parent to visit the child frequently. So the parents can equally share the expenses of travel for visitations.
2. Allow the child to spend enough time with the non-custodial parent during vacations so that the child could still feel the love and care of both the parents.
3. The non-custodial parent can keep in regular touch with the child through e-mail or chats, if phone bills prove to be expensive and unaffordable.
4. Custodial parent can keep the other one in the loop regarding the progress of the child by sharing the school reports and photographs.
Even though the marriage has broken down irrevocably, yet the parents need to stay as friends and be in touch in the best interest of their children. The children need the love of both the parents and it is the parents' responsibility to avoid their differences from affecting their child's life. Only through effective co-parenting can your children have a cheerful and a happy future.
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