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Treatment for neurologically impaired ages |
| Robert Baird |
One of the saddest outcomes resulting from Alzheimer's disease is estrangement among family members. In some families, the stress associated with this disease results in bitter resentment. In one family where the mother Mrs. R., developed Alzheimer's disease we are provided with an illustration of how change in the affected member can put unique stresses on the functioning of the entire familial unit. While Mrs. R.'s husband was alive he would frequently mask the beginning signs of her dementia; this was done in ways that left others unaware of her memory deficits. However, when Mr. R. died, his wife's condition revealed itself to her relatives.
A daughter became concerned when her mother telephoned in distress because she could not find her keys. Several minutes after hanging up, the mother repeated the call, having forgotten the earlier conversation. The daughter, unable to handle the patient's needs long-distance, and realizing that her mother was not functioning well on her own, arranged for Mrs. R. to enter a nursing home. At this time, problems with the family became apparent. Mrs. R. expressed great unhappiness, especially to her sister, about living in the nursing home. After a time Mrs. R.'s sister insisted on taking Mrs. R. into her home. The decision was made against the daughter's wishes, and it demonstrated denial or the seriousness of the patient's problems. By so doing, the sister discounted the physical and emotional stress that had been experienced by the daughter. The sister, on the other hand, being about the same age as Mrs. R., may have felt personally threatened by the necessity of nursing home placement. These feelings of personal jeopardy on the part of the sister encouraged her denial of Mrs. R.'s decline.
When the realization struck the sister that she could not handle Mrs.R., she simply returned Mrs. R. to her own home, where she was still incapable of living alone. Conflict inevitably developed between the daughter and the sister The daughter chose not to disrupt the lives of her husband and their children by either taking her mother into their home or by moving back to the city where Mrs. R. and her relatives lived. Long-buried guilt recurred as the daughter fretted over her decision to live hundreds of miles from her mother. The aunt blamed the daughter for not being "devoted enough" to her mother. A distinct coolness enveloped the extended family. At a time when mutual support would have been beneficial to all family members, an unfortunate emotional rift developed that prevented the family from functioning in an adaptive way.
In what follows, Joanne Lindoerfer, a clinical psychologist, explores common conflicts that occur within Alzheimer families and describes adaptive approaches that may be useful in mitigating or preventing family conflicts. Dementia is a family problem. Alzheimer's disease is a stressful situation that disrupts the adaptive functioning of the family by changing the balance of long-standing relationships and exacerbating previous problems. A complete array of emotions emerges as the relatives struggle with the recognition that their family, as they know it, has irreversibly changed.
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| About the Author |
By Robert Baird, author for http://www.alzheimersbasics.org/">http://www.alzheimersbasics.org/ . This site provides information on http://www.alzheimersbasics.org/alzheimers-disease/who-are-the-caregivers">caregiver and http://www.alzheimersbasics.org/treatment/family-treatment-or-therapy">treatment therapy . If you want to publish the above article then you are welcome to do so, provided you provide a linkback to authors site at http://www.alzheimersbasics.org/
©2006 All rights reserved
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