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His And Her Stress |
| Sharon Schurman |
Stress is an equal opportunity, non discriminatory invader that comes into your life without invitation. There are the big disasters which hopefully do not happen on a regular basis and then there are the minor stresses which accumulate as we go.
You are trying to phone a company for an answer and all you get is a machine which tells you to make multiple choices and then hangs up on you. You are ready to pull in a parking spot and then the guy in the sports car cuts you off and doesn't make eye contact. There are constant hassles like barking dogs, neighbors who are deaf and play their stereos to be heard in the next block. Traffic is horrible and shopping malls are flooded with people who seem to have no direction or purpose, shuffling around, standing in your way. You feel the need to speed up and yet don't know why you don't seem to have enough time to relax. Stress is there, waiting for you, no matter where you go.
Is stress experienced by men and women the same way? No and that is because whether you like it or not, males and females have different expected responses . Men just are not supposed to act terrified, uncertain, fragile, or weak, When women act this way, it can be related to hormones or simply feminine hesitation.
The news brings us all the gory details of terrorism, tragedy, and disaster. Then there is the daily stress of pressure on the job, fear of being laid off, problems with children, difficult family relationships, and forced competition everywhere. Men and women are likely to show a different response to these threats, at least in open company .So what are typical responses for women vs. men?
WOMEN
Cry and reveal to people how sad and frightened they are
Talk about the stress they feel and pinpoint why they are upset
Ask for help and admit they are vulnerable
Confide to friends and get support
Share anxiety with their families
Demonstrate more needy behavior
MEN
Remain quiet and bottle anxiety up
Watch TV and ignore other family activity Become more irritable and blow up frequently Do not confide in family or friends
Drink and eat more
Show more aggressive , attack type behavior
Even though men and women react differently outside to stress, the pain is the same inside. It is not just what happens to you that makes you feel stressed but how you react to it. This is a response which is a result of what you have experienced in your life. What is a big stress for your friend would not bother you and visa versa. Some people inherit a tendency to be more tense, worried, and anxious. Each of us has a set point at which we start to feel uncomfortable, a point at which we get tense, and a time when the stress is overwhelming. You talk to yourself in your mind and tell yourself how this situation will affect you. And you believe that inner voice which tells you how upset you should be.
There is no way to tell you that your life will be stress free. It just will not happen in today's world. But you have to decide how much you are going to let stress damage your life. And you have to make a commitment to find ways to deal with everyday stressors which can drive you up a wall if you can't put it in the background of your mind. Here are some things for you to do to reduce the effects of the stress which you are going to experience all of your life:
Do something every day you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do. Choose at least two people you can confide anything to. When it hits the fan, share it with these people.
Make your home a safe, restful place where you do not have to fight or compete. Your home is your sanctuary. Have a pet who gives you unconditional love every time you appear. It's wonderful to be greeted every day like royalty.
When your stress level starts to escalate, write down what is happening in your life. It will help you find the stress triggers.
Defuse stress by exercise, meditation, and deep breathing. Walk, whistle, distract yourself. You will feel less intense.
Being continually over stressed can take down the most powerful man and the most beautiful woman. It is part of life we have to learn to deal with in that it comes to all of us, sooner or later. You have to put yourself first when stress starts to overcome you. Unless you can refresh your spirit and find some peace in your mind, you will not be happy, satisfied, or successful.
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| About the Author |
©2005 All rights reserved
Sharon Schurman, Southlake , Texas, USA
sharon@sursel.com
http://www.StressRelief911.com
Sharon schurman is a retired licensed clinical counselor whose site offers information, suggestions, and tips on dealing with stress, depression, and anxiety.
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| Quotes | Have you seen a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein?-Elaine, describing Kramer
Having major planets disappear is always a bad sign.- Jim Blinn
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.- Washington Irving
Great spirits often meet violent opposition with mediocre minds - Albert Einstein
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