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If you are an alien, robot or ape you can’t play Lost Ark: that’s what their Terms of Use says

HumorIf you are an alien, robot or ape you can't play Lost Ark: that's what their Terms of Use says

Let’s face it, nobody in their right mind stops to read legal requirements. Even less so when you could wallpaper a whole house with the text that occupies them, but it wouldn’t hurt to stop from time to time to take a look at them. Sometimes you find gems like this one from Lost Ark.

To enter this Agreement and use the Games, you must be a live human (e.g., not a corporation, organization, artificial intelligence (good or evil), extraterrestrial, sentient non-human primate, etc.).

The fantasy that we can find in the Amazon Games Terms of Use that appear on the Lost Ark page does not stop there. If you are one of these species that wants to play the popular MMORPG you still have a chance of being able to enjoy it.

However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence of a widespread extraterrestrial, robot, simian, or similar takeover of planet Earth, in which case we welcome our alien, robot, ape, or other overlords, as applicable, (such parties, “Their Eminences”) to play our Games, and Their Eminences will be subject to the terms of this Agreement, mutatis mutandis, commencing on the date of the takeover and continuing for all periods thereafter, until such date as human governance is restored.

Hey, good news. Your Eminences will surely sleep much more peacefully today, but be careful, don’t think that everything is done, because life takes many turns and the game can be ruined if you don’t keep your wits about you.

But hey, you might be wondering. This is all well and good but what if Jeff Bezos destroys the Earth and we all have to go, apes, robots and humans to live in space, then what. Don’t worry, for the Lost Ark Terms of Use they have thought of everything.

Provided, further, that in the event the takeover necessitates the forced migration of the human species to Mars or other celestial body, where the Games are not operable at this time, we will use commercially reasonable efforts to (a) expand the locations where the Games are available and waive applicable restrictions under Section 5.2, below, and (b) enable local game servers as promptly as reasonably practicable, subject in each case to the availability of necessary interplanetary logistics, utility, sustainable life support, asteroid deflection systems, local stores or distribution services, and rule of law, as may be provided by our affiliates, our third-party providers, celestial beings, or governmental or non-governmental organizations.

I hope all this has put your minds at ease, whether you’re an eminence or just a commoner waiting in line to play Lost Ark like someone waiting to buy bread.

Believe it or not, this text fantasy is real and you can access it from the Lost Ark legal documents page (see section number 5.1). A nice wink from Amazon Games that comes in handy among so much unintelligible jargon.

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